Vaseline

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a  young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.  While tying the homeowners wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of  her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.   While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!  He's probably spent a lot of time in prison and hasn't seen a woman in  years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't  complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.  This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!" His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my  ear. He told me that he's gay, and thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too."

Twitter Acronym Dictionary

Twitter Dictionary

AFAIK:- As Far as I Know, B4:- Before, b/c:- Because, b/w:- Between, BFN:- Bye For now, BR:-Best Regards, BRB:-Be Right Back, BTW:-By the Way, CX:-Correction, CZ:-Cause, DM:-Direct Message, EM:-Email, FB:-Facebook, FF:-Usually #FF for Follow Friday, FFS:-For F–k’s Sake, FML:-F–k My Life, FTF or F3F:-Face To Face, FTL:-For The Loss, FWD:-Forward, FWIW:-For What It’s Worth, GTG:-Got To Go, HT:-Hat Tips, HTH:-Hope That Helps, ICYMI:-In Case You Missed IT, IIRC:-If I Remember Correctly, IMHO:-In My Humble Opinio, IMO:-In My Opinion, IRL:-In Real Life, JV:-Joint Venture, J/K:-Just Kidding, LI;-LinkedIn, LMAO:-Laughing My Ass Off, LMK:-Let Me Know, LOL:-Laughing Out Loud, MT:-Modified Tweet, NSFW:-Not Safe For Work, OH:-Overheard, OMFG:-Oh My F–king God, OMG:-Oh My God, OMFG:-Oh My F__king God, OMG:-Oh My God, PRT:-Partial Retweet / Please Retweet (at the start of a tweet), RE:-In Reply To, RR:-Re-Run, RT:-Retweet, RTF:-Read The FAQ, RTM:-Read The Manual, RTQ:-Read The Quesiton / Retweet The Question, RTHX:-Thanks For The ReTweet, SNAFU:-Situation Normal All F__ked Up, SOB:-Son Of a Bitch, SMH:-Shake My Hand, STFU:-Shut The F__k Up, STFW:-Searching the F__king Web, TMB:-Tweet Me Back, TMI:-Too Much Information, TTYL:-Talk to You Later, TTYS:-Talk to You Soon, TY:-Thank You, WTF:-What The F–k, WTH:-What The Hell, YGTR:-You Got that right, YMMV:-Your Mileage May Vary, YW:-You’re Welcome, YT:-Youtube

Security Alert Destroy Used Scartchcards

Kindly note there is a new technique used by robbers and carjackers to escape from arrest due to their criminal activities. They are collecting used scratch cards and once they abandon the car or where they dump the dead bodies they leave the already used scratch card at the scene. Once the police arrive they are using the scratch card serial numbers to track on which phone number it was loaded then they start tracking the phone number owner. Already two people are in Kamiti who fell victim of the trick. Kindly once you load airtime make sure you destroy the card before you dispose it to avoid such incidences. Share this information with your friends

Be informed, stay safe.